The Unexpected..... The Inevitable

"Now I don't even recognize
The girl I swore that someday
I would marry" - I Remember by Stabbing Westward

Man, I sank a lot of pain into that song. That's not what I'm up at 4am to write about, though. As the lyrics imply, I'm writing about change. I was attempting to fall asleep when this subject popped into my never ending mind. Why do we change? What causes it?

Nothing can effect a life as much as change. Whether it's the best thing in your life, or the worst, change alters they way you live. At times we yearn for a change, other times we dread it with all our hearts.

I was thinking about how my life has changed over the years. From being popular in school, to fearing for my well being in school. From being stuck in a deep depression, to pulling myself out of that hole and enjoying life again. From being alone, to falling in love. From being in love, to being heartbroken. From being heartbroken, to mending myself. And now my current change, from having no life, to trying to put myself together and get on my feet. There have been many changes, good and bad, from the highest high, to the lowest low. Each a lesson. Each a landmark I can look back on and see how I've changed since.

I wouldn't say change is the current to the river of our lives. I feel it's more the geography that makes the river flow where it does. Sometimes we can force a change, and make our lives better, and sometimes change hits us and drags life down. Often unexpected, always inevitable.

I have learned one thing from change that I will always remember. No matter how low life gets, no matter how bleak, how hard, how tragic it is, it will change. That break in the rapids will eventually come, and the water will be tranquil again.