At Midnight We Laughed About Roger's Poo.

You know, after xmas is over and done with, I really regret writing my previous post. I let things in my mind build up, and they recently have leaned to the negative. I should stop doing that, because I can make things (and people) sound a lot worse than they are.

This xmas is a prime example.

This year, for me, was probably the best xmas I have ever had. This had nothing to do with the presents or anything. What made this the best for me was, ironically, my family.

It started when I pulled out the big gift for my sister. It was an alto saxophone, something we have been wanting to get her for years, but haven't been able to until now. She used to play when she was in highschool (when I was a child, and was extremely good. When she opened and saw what it was, she immediately started crying, along with my mom, my niece, my dad, and my eyes got all misty (no pun intended). It was hard for me to take any pictures, since my hands were shaking.

When she blew a note, it sent me way way back into memories buried into the depths of my mind. When I was a kid, and my family was the world to me. Before I knew of the things that bring us down and cast a dark haze over everything. I felt so happy for my sister, happier than I have felt in a long, long time. Too long. That moment was the highlight of the year for me.

With the idea of my moving to Texas in my head, I am realizing how much the family means to me. My family, along with Rob, who I consider family, are the most important things in my life, and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them.

As my sister opened her sax, something in me sparked. I'm not sure what, but I looked around at my family, and felt like a kid. There were no worries, just me, my family, and that happy feeling of everything being awesome. It was overwhelming, and I'm still pretty emotional. I'm still not sure exactly what it's about, but it hit me big. It's even made me miss my brother..... and if you know me at all, that's HUGE.

After the gifts were through, we all gathered before lunch, and my uncle said grace. Which for me basically means I stood there holding random family members hands while thinking of boobies and porn, because that's funny when people talk about jesus. After he was done, I felt compelled to say something to the family.

"If I could say something...", I said, voice shaking. People stop and turn back to look at me.

I take a breath, make sure not to look at anyone, and say, "I know I don't say much, but I just want to say that I am extremely proud to be a part of this family." with a voice breaking with emotion.

I look at the ground, tears in my eyes, my family cheers, many of them suddenly with watery eyes of their own. My sister cries again, my mom cries again, my niece cries again, my other niece wipes her nose on my hand and giggles.

My mom and aunt both hug me. My aunt looks up at me, then at my mom. She smiles, and casually says, "I guess we can keep him."