Somehow We're Close-Knit

Some random quotes from my Thanksgiving family gathering.

"This stuffing is weird"

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"Would one of the girls where these pants?"

"Maybe if they were in junior highschool again."

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"What's this?"

"An invitation to a tea party I'm-"

"Thanks, but no thanks."

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"Just wait until you see me at Christmas" <---- me referring to my suprise holiday hair

"Oh no, I bet it's something we'll wish never happened"

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"I usually wait for my mom to get fed up and ask me how to use the TV' <---- Me joking

"Korey, you're still growing up mentally" <----- aunt not getting it

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"I'm sorry, lord, for not thanking you every day, lord, for all the little things you give us, lord, and for the things you don't give us, lord." <---- the blessing..... if you listen closely you can hear my disgust.

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That being said, it was a great visit. My family has a ton of differences, and aside from the little quips above, we put them aside well, and really get along. Lots of smiles and laughs. Somehow through all our differences we are still a close-knit family, and I love that.

Sleeeeeep

So I got my camera replaced and working in time for Thanksgiving. Turns out I would forget to take it to our little gathering. Figures.

I'm extremely tired right now and I have nothing to say, and no pics to show, so you'll have to do with me trying to be crafty with my WoW screenshots. Bonko has gone through a few changes since beta, and it turns out that he is now a dorf paladin. No puddles this time :( but I plan on buying a parrot. There are rumors that Bonko is related to Karur, so he's gotta be a pirate dorf.

Anyway, sleep.

Bittersweet.

So I FINALLY got a digital camera.

I bought a Canon Powershot A75 after researching brands and models. I should be really excited right now. I would be if everything worked like it should. Unfortunately I seem to have picked up a malfunctioning camera as every pic I take is distorted by horizontal lines. I'm looking into ways to fix this problem, but have so far come up empty handed. Worst case scenario: I go exchange it on Tuesday when I go pick up my copy of World of Warcraft (if my shitty stores have it in).

So while happy (hahaha accidentally typed jappy) that I got my camera, I'm bummed that it isn't working properly.

In the meantime, here's the first pic I took while in the car.


Me knowing the camera is going to dump on me when I get home.

The Shift.

It's funny how tastes can change. Most of the time it's a gradual transition, but recently I've had an abrupt change.

I'm talking about my taste in music. I used to be a big metal head, with Iced Earth, Blind Guardian, and Dimmu Borgir being among my favorite bands. I also liked the softer, alternative rock, but metal had a deathgrip on the top spot.

Until a few months ago, when that grip was loosened altogether, as if overthrown by the rebellious and oppressed alternative genre. The last 2 metal albums I bought were Edguy's Hellfire Club, and Angra's Rebirth. I was massively disappointed by them, but not for the usual reasons. They were exactly what I was expecting, and looking forward to. It just..... wasn't good to me anymore. This came as a shock, and I had to see if this was just a fluke of the mood. So into the CD player my trusty Something Wicked This Way Comes went, trying to dispel this sudden dislike. My feelings were confirmed when I couldn't listen to the CD all the way through. I just didn't enjoy it anymore. The metal head in me had died.

This got me to thinking about the reason I liked metal in the first place. Was it the lyrics? The sound? I know it wasn't the lyrics in most cases. Metal isn't very deep music in that regard. I did like the sound, but I know sound alone can't carry a band for me. I looked a little deeper and found something out.

The reason I liked metal was because of the man who introduced me to it's murderer, alternative rock. This man is Rob. You see, Rob and I are scarily alike. We have the same tastes in almost everything. It can get unnerving when we say the exact same thing for the 5th time that day.

What's this have to do with me liking metal? Well, Rob doesn't really like metal.... and that was something different. I kept metal around because it was my little domain, something unique to me. Too bad it sucked.

Once I realized this I saw how silly it sounded. For one, I have a bunch of things that are unique to me (how many big Japanese Wrestling fans do you know?). Also, who wouldn't want a friend you can relate to on almost everything?

So the metal in me has died. Kamelot, Strapping Young Lad, and Symphony X have fallen, while the likes of Blue October, Zac Maloy, and Further Seems Forever have risen and taken over. Frankly, I couldn't be happier about it.

I miss Puddles...

So the World of Warcraft Beta has ended.

Even from these few weeks of the final stress test and open beta I have a ton of stories and have had a ton of fun. I will say that WoW is the absolute best mmo I have ever played, and I am a seasoned veteran of mmo's.

Also, Rob and I as a duo.... we are GODS.


Right to left: Thrall, Bonko (Me), Quietmind (Rob), and Puddles the turtle.

Hooray for Time.

I know it's been a long while. I just couldn't bring myself to write anything until now.

Time has passed and things are better here. I'm still weary, but it seems things are fine. Things got thrown out of whack and I have fallen behind in the stuff I need to do, and my schedule was reversed again. I naturally sleep during the day and stay awake all night, and if I don't stay on top of my sleeping I end up not seeing the sun and not getting anything done.

I have recently been playing the beta of World of Warcraft and I let myself escape into that a bit. I feel that helped, but I need to be careful with how much of my time I spend playing. Before I know it the day could be gone.

I'm am just now getting my schedule back on track, and hopefully will be picking things up again. This is a very hectic time of the year and it only gets worse until Christmas, so I will only be able to do so much.

Still, I have been beating myself up daily over my lapse in the past few weeks. I think that's my biggest problem. If I procrastinate (as I often do), I beat myself up over it, making myself feel bad and in even less of a mood to do things. It's quite a nasty circle.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure myself out aloud again.

Here's to being back on track. :) (I have a bunch of posts running through my head, so there will be more activity on the blog again.)

Helpless

That is how I feel right now. Things teeter on the brink of crashing down constantly. Not for me, but for certain members of my family, and I'm stuck in the middle, wanting to do everything, but unable to do anything.

It is an endless cycle of stress and worry. Are we gonna be able to keep living here? Are we going to lose everything? Are we going to have to go back to having nothing after finally pulling ourselves out of the hole? These questions are asked by me and my parents a lot recently. The minute things look better, they come crashing down again.

My parents are completely innocent bystanders being hurt by someone else's actions. My aunt is an innocent bystander that can be potentially hurt by someone else's actions. And my sister faces the brunt of it all.

It never ends. I fear my mother will be bedridden with depression, and my dad isn't able to be here for her (because his employer lied to make him move away). I am the sole person to support my mom, and I want nothing more than to move away and start over. Do you know how horrible that makes me feel? I feel like a horrible son.

I have been planning to move for quite some time, but things always spring up and get in the way. And now, when I have become the most determined I have ever been, I feel like I am abandoning people who need me.

I am sick of the situation here. The morality of my family is being ripped to shreds, and they lay down and let it happen. I want to take it away, but I can't. I am stuck here having to watch this shit happen over and over.

I am tired of watching my sister cry. I am tired of watching my mom cry. I am tired of this place, and I am tired of this state of life. I am tired of not being able to do a thing about it.

I want to go away.