Holy Hernia.

This last Christmas my grandma got me a present that has kind of baffled me.

I think it's pretty well known that I am not religious, but it seems that my grandma doesn't quite get it yet. You see, she got me a cross pendant, hoping that I'd wear it proudly. Well, there are two reasons why I wouldn't wear it, the first of which is obvious. The second reason is because the thing is HUGE! You could hang it on a wall and no one would be the wiser.

While trying to figure out what to do with it today, I tried it on. I didn't burst into flames, which is a good sign, but I think I damaged my neck. Damn thing is heavy.

.....Dad just called me to tell me about how fun making pizza is.

Anyway, I took a picture. I'm not sure why, maybe to have proof that yes, at one point in my life I actually had a cross around my neck. Do not expect to see something like this often:
Listen closely and you can hear my muscles tearing and my neck snapping as I strain to lift Gravity's Favorite Cross.

I put it down and it made a crater. The Crater of Christ is in my office.